part one

I told the boy that when I want to write, it is a feeling in my throat. A physical push forward. I am a girl, but I can think of it like a metaphorical erection, the semen coming out of my mouth. It is not something I want to do, sometimes, and sometimes it is.… Continue reading part one

poem: instagram

silent ownership in the night, youonly exist like a characterinside my mind-fuckingmental state. i want to make it keep it pretty, i cannot / but whenit happens, it issoft little waves rushingup on me. the daylight is veryawkward, we are realpeople. the refrigerator is silent,mad old greek godor silicone statue, thinkingi took your motherfaster, manage… Continue reading poem: instagram

poem: save ur tears

set the scene: girl, realizingquickly inside the lights that the boywill not tellher everything. how can i say —without mocking — that youthat you exist within smallsnake lines; train stationin august alsoseptember; the lines lookdifferent inside rain lightsstation lights, people with ezra pound faces, petals and bulbouseyes. the girl realizingthe boy is leaving, he is… Continue reading poem: save ur tears

poem: that man

winter is invariably winter; people are different people when they wake up in the morning. he stayed lateinside the night 90s computer eyes, 90s animeboy. blink twice it's probablythe matrix; summer is invariablysummer he will walk awaythrough the heat, but nowhe stayed late on the couch lateinto the morning. white snow morningspuffy thin air, animeeyes.… Continue reading poem: that man

poem: anime & broken hearts watchlist

i watched Death Note, Welcome to the NHK, the first season of Psycho-Pass — I had neverwatched anime before, i was alreadyunpopular in highschool and did not wantto be that girl. i watched A SilentVoice in my pink summer sheets and i cried, i later watched Himizu and alsocried. i did not finishPerfect Blue, i… Continue reading poem: anime & broken hearts watchlist

poem: corazon

nothing boys, whose head is somethingi am not and cannot be, i don't know whatand how. you are thinking, your handsyour wide beautiful shoulderswide eyes. i am lonelierwith your existence than if your existence was not; you are not like me, there is no danger of your leaving planets. the mythology it stays long after… Continue reading poem: corazon

poem: nice people are always liars

the boy in the undead years cuthis age in half by the ageof girls he findsscalps, vulnerability is a bitch, like sex all over your hands. the toyko girl is suicidalfor fun, she plays moshi-moshi handgames handgrenades paparazzi do you wanna befamous somebodyloved? the boys find herat bridges, drippingher wet cuniversal righteous nothing, we arefragile… Continue reading poem: nice people are always liars

poem: disorder

in another context, the girl jumpingfrom the bridge is not sad. fireworks comein unexpected places, times; i preferdark humor, the hikikomori alone in trash. we could talk, afterthe movie? my muse diedon a staircase — film compromiseupon film comprise untildivorce. alternatively, he becomes something else: the boywith the something, saying somethingkind; you should know, my… Continue reading poem: disorder

poem: bad free verse attempting to explain

the old words and adages arestale; and yetwe all blaze up, in unison,whenever there isa chance. one million rooms, foaming with m/f violent music; writing to panic attack hangoversand mythical cigerette smoke. they laytogether, in the afterhe came into the room with the snowflake-coldand she blazed up. twenty-five years later she fucksa different man, the… Continue reading poem: bad free verse attempting to explain

poem: the battle of

again again again and howin muddy, half-trudged stepsregains the hold, the menfall— down— and i cannot complain. i have instead disorder, mindhell sparks, all orange-pillcontained. once, theydied in droves and now i die alone, on the upstairsbed my face againstthe shrills. you must know:he is not returning: heis not worth attention,deflection, call it crush— in… Continue reading poem: the battle of