poem: hemingway

I pulled an all-nighter, I pulledthe night between my teeth likethe bloody fists ofa man; I stretched the nightbetween my teeth and left school-shooter chalk on the people askinghow, why, andare you. they leftthey all left; and I stayed aloneto watch the sun vomit,greasy violent strands over the lovers especially, their handstheir hair dripping in… Continue reading poem: hemingway

writing: a weak explanation for why i skipped two classes today

There is very little I want to do in life anymore; when I think of my shriveled-up ambitions and the sad lack of caring, I am sad too; the sadness is within and without, both the thing consuming me and the cerebral animal response. I want to find that sadness in other people, but mostly… Continue reading writing: a weak explanation for why i skipped two classes today

poem: blonde highlights

the mystery, the murders; you sound likeforeign words or fitzgerald writing alone in rose colored wine; you text like an AI chatbot but i take the blame mostly. listening to reginaspektor in the car: do you love me do youlove me, says my sister my motherthe general throng. how do i explain, i wantairplane ecstasy… Continue reading poem: blonde highlights

poem: crying after a fight with my mother, twenty-twenty

in the autumn far-awayi read a portrait of the artist as a young manunder the trees, under the universityand i was notthe drama, the failure. waitingoutside the daycare, an after-somethingjob for the boring, earbuds and trite tragicmusic wrapped around my skull. i stayed very latein cafes, no-whip-cafe-mochaand scholarship questions, dreaminghopelessly and i — droppedthe history… Continue reading poem: crying after a fight with my mother, twenty-twenty

poem: self-awareness is possibly just narcissism

hey soul someone,i fell out of your eyes. we disagreeon politics, religion; you are tooexcited to see me. guess whatall my characters, soul-mates,fake/college/friendsare still bitches: whinyand not really depressed. it's justdespair, i'm justdespair-ed. the internethowever beats on,an eternal shared heart.what do we have after post-modernism? not much;good-fucking-bye to human progress. and youwatched me walkaway, the… Continue reading poem: self-awareness is possibly just narcissism

poem: all madness, no genius, pt. 1

two thousand 17;the aesthetic of this,it is like spring, the old suicide days, when the poemsdripped — no punctuation.music stuck spiral-likein my throat, the pulsing pulsingwonder: my chemical shitin the bathroom (before class)the animalism of no-onemeeting your eyes — I cannotwrite like thatanymore. The downsidesof friends, of making it. two thousand 19/20;remember the chemical swings,the… Continue reading poem: all madness, no genius, pt. 1

poem: alcohol on zoloft

watching in the half-formed – now, the suddenness of nothing; i sit, i carefully implode. imaginedrinks & broadway at midnight,swaying in my mirror like a banshee,the erotic ancient womenspiraling in my mouth. the memorycomes – abruptly. Picturesframed by rims of black, in whichi am naked, someone else: the large dreams, the mansions,the careful British decor.… Continue reading poem: alcohol on zoloft

poem: insular

is it like last year – the self inside the self? the same lattes, the same late-night girls,working working workingfor ivory schools,jades – and pearls – i can forgive the coffee if it counts towards yale,princeton – oxford –the university of nowhere,un château dans l'air, hiding in front of me,resurrecting what –might have been: the… Continue reading poem: insular

writing: the things that happened today

I stood in the shower a long time and imagined getting out, taking my towel from the hook and wrapping it around my body, and then unclipping my hair and shaking it loose and bunching the curls between my fingers, and walking back to my dorm room. My room is clean. Nothing else, lately, has… Continue reading writing: the things that happened today

poem: autumn / catch me i’m falling

highschool-me listened to far awaymusicals, the rx a foreign and edgy thing, everything sex, men smilingand cum dripping out; now the normalis redone and i watch – ravens land on old buildings,the turrets gothic, lined against the fall;nothing is magic – not the rawcoming in calendars, the daysfalling into vampire schedules, five a.m. blinking, late… Continue reading poem: autumn / catch me i’m falling