girls in books do not have interior lives; they are emotion, they are not Thought. And here I am, sitting alone in the dark terrified to go out terrified to stay in— if I pulled myself apart you would find text, an introversion good enough for Tolstoy, but not good enough for—who else? Who else—is… Continue reading poem: i have no reasons, i have no reason
Tag: lonely
poem: I do not want to mistake another boy’s kindness for love
Welcome To The Bottom of the Erotic. The Mood Swings Pure Chemical Hormone. I lose skin and I am watching the curtains make double-colors: the red too fresh, too fake the black like insomnia, the artist's friend, climbing in for psychotic kicks. I make my reflection in crescent nails I find that (once again) I… Continue reading poem: I do not want to mistake another boy’s kindness for love
poem: the third boy (but i swear it’s different this time)
I did not want to be here (again): thinking only and always of where you could be where you will be where I might go and pretend to study, just to feel your small blaze as you walk through the room. it is childish, probably unhealthy; I might justify obsession in the name of love,… Continue reading poem: the third boy (but i swear it’s different this time)
poem: small chronicle of living in my head
silent, silent girls play at depression, play at deep aching wounds: as we really saw battles, as if our mothers died and our fathers went mad; as if we were raped on cement floors outside cities, men standing at the door and sharing cigarettes. but, really, these girls are too fantastic and too normal:… Continue reading poem: small chronicle of living in my head
poem: not another night alone
these times of year are desperate, are lonely they are spider traps i can't talk myself out of, when it is midnight and the depression is so repressed that pulling it out is de-evolution, fundamentally re-volting to this grand new person i (almost) am. where are the stars at 2 p.m.? i suppose chopin could… Continue reading poem: not another night alone
poem: those people are like art, dead but beautiful
little girl, in the red skirt, in the impressionist painting outside my window: the sky is thick with cocoa beans, the clouds are wild. her mother picks at the flower-dust in her hair. they have halos, they are goddesses spun out in starry nights, relics from when the world was young and girls waited… Continue reading poem: those people are like art, dead but beautiful
poem: last November was seeped through with color
sitting, now, on the other side and looking back through the blue-green sheen of November in Love, I am unhinged and wet, the wine running deep rosé over my virgin hands, my soiled head. he would come to me out of the rain, out of the dark, shaking mythos from the curling damp parts,… Continue reading poem: last November was seeped through with color
poem: what he almost gave me was not his to give
we are not yet dust, we are still holding on, breathing carefully; the solar lights in the club flickeronoff, onoff. I thought you were beautiful once and especially, as you smiled at me more and more, you become like art. Your eyes turned from drained out blue to exotica; you went up in clouds like… Continue reading poem: what he almost gave me was not his to give
he was like Japanese anime from the 90’s
he was like Japanese anime from the 90's: he made her melancholy in 2019, her knees pressed up against the computer screen, the little people smiling blandly into their porclein coffee-mugs. she was wearing white-blue jeans, her eyelashes were bleached, and the traffic went by slowly and silently: there is a parade of cars and… Continue reading he was like Japanese anime from the 90’s
poem: almost song lyrics. almost.
i burned my tongue on late november last year, we were still together. and now, lonely girls sit under fake blue moons, twisting their lives into small categories: the before and the after. hey, don't think it's romantic just because of the lo-fi coffee sounds. last year, we were bold and defiant: miniature buddhas bounced… Continue reading poem: almost song lyrics. almost.
the last pavilion 