secrets from a girl who's seen it all. summer of 2023. "california" - all my desperation left me / after I fell in love and now I cannot write. "the other option is to try to conjure powerful emotions (but not feelings)" - he understands that you / write about what you have. "dear stranger who… Continue reading anthology: the california poems
Tag: free verse
poem: coven of fifteen
now reset to cyclical sad: it is natural, when the green comes loosein fluid forgiving, to find solace in the Old. slicing through fallingtime imagining a baby here, in this place, with this music -- or the strain of itat another place. rummaging through person unbeset by aberration - 30 secondbrain-warp! the internet produces a… Continue reading poem: coven of fifteen
poem: post-grunge
imagine being, cockroach, in the truck cab, they sayjump u jump, they say riot u riot. white-ass white-outtundra of the far out, you can drive and drive anddrive out here, son. can't sell out if you never blazed out,never proclaimed godhood or artistry. the radio hasbloody teeth, girls still like sucking nubs. the men inthe… Continue reading poem: post-grunge
poem: hauntology
all of a sudden, it is too much muchness. my teenage selfwould have eaten this up: he's drunk, or he's telling her - you'll makeme start drinking again. dream blip, girl with M names thelast Paris poem, the first time we go to Paris is October and we will(respectfully) fuck. we will watch the swans… Continue reading poem: hauntology
poem: monologue
on the park bench she has nothing of sacred otherness, ripping her face offthere is just, mine. cigarette draw - like i do in dreams - saying, hmmmfifteen pages into gravity’s rainbow i had to reddit thread tounderstand a monster on the page, i can’t stand that sort of referencial minutia; if theText cant hold… Continue reading poem: monologue
poem: belle and sebastian
grown-up teenage ennui, I'm middle-aged I'm middle-agedyou sing to all the kids, eternally dying, out in America-nowhere. whatkind of cry can the old outcast make, wearing commercial successwith the same joviality that drove me, 17, to findyou, fellow-shut in, beneath the bookstore bookshelf; you toldme about the thin lines between continuing and not, andother fictions.… Continue reading poem: belle and sebastian
poem: getting back into things
pop culture re-work through the freeze, the dead years atpinnacle of our youth. i am too scared to confront feeling - good lit ficirony, she dies when she wants to live, how boring. songwritingis a gift I do not have, the days slow down -- memories rip and wreckwithout warning, virgin birth: vivid grass smell,… Continue reading poem: getting back into things
poem: blog update
countdown to Self-Immolation/Explosion, new verge into briefand lolz - submissions session yet again? I never had a betterfriend; I never wept a better end. ship of theseus: mother metaphornot yet over-run, Default Virgin on the surface of online, on the coral reefof interwebs. going skinny like skinny-dipping new girl/old sex in New York, I briefly… Continue reading poem: blog update
poem: ship of theseus
there's a messy verge -- to conduct through the past lush/heatand moans against the chair, how much reanimates, how muchcomes into me, felt again -- now the narrative has softened, we makeplans to drive out of town and drink tonight, ice creampints; somenight the new-word in my lap will remake -- division of time, i… Continue reading poem: ship of theseus
poem: the ick after “big red son”
in faraway -- two-and-half-highway drive, the Californiaheat de-panels into California porn, sitting in summer lightlace tanktop and gold Cross/Saint medallion, I am kept --meeting the underworld only through the clay feet ofonce glamorous men, now revealed to be down in the moral yuck, he says the sexualization of real life versus actual real life, I… Continue reading poem: the ick after “big red son”
the last pavilion 